I have been wanting to write from a long time, ever since my last post I’ve been wanting that silence and peace more than ever… I guess it took me a long time to realize where to find it…
3rd January, 2010:
My Facebook status said,
“Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and The eyesight to tell the difference.”
You know, I must have read this somewhere.But the moment I read it, I knew I wanted this to be true. I meant it every word when I reread it again and again. And it must be one of those moments, when He grants you what you ask for. It was my good fortune that I ran into the right comrades without whom my journey the last year would not have brought me where I stand now, for they were the ones who guided & assisted me, showed their faith in me, laughed & danced during the light moods, lent me a shoulder during the ‘not so’ light ones.
Comrades new and comrades old, The old ones never seemed to get weary of me. They’d been with me in those times when Vivek Todi was not exactly the same as you see today. And the new ones? They were and still are those who help me help myself stay insanely sane and stable through everything this year has shown me.
This year I also learnt that I can forget those close friends whom I don’t want to like anymore, And I must confess I do not remember any valid reason for not liking them anymore other than the fact that I do not like them anymore. I have been successful enough in staying away from unfriendly, unwanted & selfish associations I had been trying to get out of. And this itself was my first step in learning to difference between the good and the bad. I began to calculate.
It’s not that I’ve been always very calculative about my associations, mind you I do not speak of my relations over here only associations! I believe relations are far above than petty calculations. Speaking in terms of business logic, a relation is a business where you simply enjoy the transaction without worrying about the profit or loss. As for associations, I’ve been calculative about them this year.
But the real achievement wasn’t about becoming calculative, the achievement was learning when to stop these calculations. Things change when time passes by, associations turn into needs, passions and commitments to die for. And that’s where it all stops, all the calculations come to an end.
It’s like knowing when you’ve fallen in love… And then you know where to steer…